By Carol Fisher-Linn
The other day I was looking for information about the Memorial Day events and I looked through several sites. Found nothing. Irked, I called, only to find that many people had no information, and was informed that if they did, they would post them. An apology for my crossness was in order and graciously accepted.
I tell you this because I want you to think back to the last time you assumed you knew a certain “fact” only to find out that you were not so accurately informed. Maybe you assume someone is talking about you behind your back, or you are a mite critical of that family with four teen-agers that you feel could never provide a nurturing environment for those kids to succeed in school. But it turns out that the person talking behind your back is planning a surprise for you, and each kid in said family is a candidate for college scholarships. Oops!
We do it all the time. We assume. We hear or see “facts” from friends, on TV or social media and, if it fits within the “personal bubbles” in which we are comfortable and predisposed, we accept them as fact, even when they are divisive or untrue. The problem is the more we see them, the more these stories embed into our brains and become reality. “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” (AH) Face it, most of these stories are inflammatory because that’s what sells. Now, that becomes a problem.
We weren’t born to hate. We come from the womb like a squeaky-clean slate, to be filled with all our life’s experiences: community/family cultural standards, missteps/triumphs, hugs/ rebukes, good books/ misinformation, etc. We are a total of our life’s experiences, so those experiences set us up to filter everything that comes before us. How many times have you and a friend or relative seen the same event/story yet walk away with a totally different interpretation of what you saw/experienced? Because each of you interpreted it through your personal filter.
Entertainment adds to the mix the ideas about racism are not new. I am a fan of the 1949 play, South Pacific. Even back then they did something unheard of at the time – they used the show as a protest against racism. Remember this song from the show? “You’ve got to be taught to be afraid – of people whose eyes are oddly made – and people whose skin is a diff’rent shade …” Back then, people were fighting more than one war – sadly, the battle continues. We all love West Side Story. Spielberg has a new version addressing the divide over ethnic identity during today’s racial reckoning. It’s not enough, those of Puerto Rican descent say, but it’s a start.
It’s a start. It’s always a start. Maybe, for once, after yet another violent act of cowardice, this time in neighboring Buffalo, maybe, just maybe Buffalo Strong has what it takes to not have the senseless hate-filled violence end here (as we hear repeatedly in impassioned, painful speeches), but to truly have the transformative healing and action START here. You know that shooter may just have chosen the wrong giant to kick.
Remember, Buffalo folks got significant changes made to the FAA safety rules years after flight 3407 tragically landed on a home in Clarence. The pugnacious team prevailed though the frustrating and discouraging long haul. Currently, Buffalo baristas took on giant Starbucks and became the model for others across the US to get the unions behind them. And face it, the Buffalo Mafia hangs tight because they are family and believe in one another. Could Western New York be “Hate Stops Here Ground Zero” where hate truly starts to melt away like Buffalo’s dirty, detested winter ice? It can start here by our communities continuing to reach out to the victims and their people.
But here’s the trick. Why don’t we get to know them? Host a family for a weekend and learn their hearts. I hear there’s a church project afoot to do just that. Stay tuned. And try listening to each other – have an honest conversation at a Community Roundtable (thegreatreset.org). You might even see things differently. Finally, surround yourself with good-hearted people and take action. If we don’t, hate will persist. BTW: the “AH” quoted above was Adolph Hitler. But I choose to end with this quote by Morgan Freeman: “Imagine what 7 billion humans could accomplish if we all loved and respected each other.”