Carol Fisher-Linn
“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.”—Franklin D. Roosevelt
Psssttt! Hey, parents of grads-to-be! Stop a moment and think back to the days when you struggled, bleary-eyed, through night-time feedings; where every move away from home required a minivan to haul their equipment, food, diapers, baby seat, etc. Great to have that behind you, right? Suddenly it’s kindergarten graduation, complete with cap and gown and their first bouquet or fancy hot wheels. Still have the photos? Pass the tissues.
Who can forget the grade school dioramas, the long houses, the prehistoric scenes filled with plastic dinosaurs, and the exploding mountain experiments? And just like that, another graduation arrives in 6th grade for many. Another cap and gown and flowers. Once you got past that, you couldn’t wait until they could drive themselves to 8am swim classes, soccer meets or school games, while at the same time being terrified of the thought of them behind the wheel of a car.
High school brought its share of joys and misery, for all of you. So many firsts: First loves, first breakups, first heart-wrenching discoveries that maybe BFF’s really aren’t; first academic and athletic successes/failures, first prom, first car, first experiments with forbidden “stuff.” Writing papers in high school – serious book reports on science or fun stuff like “why dog’s kisses are best,” or those answering the deep questions of life like, “where do all the mismatched socks go?” Here’s when parent’s start realizing that time is no longer crawling. Come Junior year you suddenly realize you are living by the calendar and clock. The future is calling. Will your child continue their education? That means research, decisions on possible courses of study, first college visitations (take lots of pictures), first college acceptance letter(s) and then another cap and gown, flowers, photos, toasts, salutations, tears. They may be ready for this next step, but you may have discovered that you are not … quite. Some of your kiddoes may choose to go out into the world and make their way with the tools they presently hold. Fortunately, our environment here allows for opportunities close to home. One or two might even ask to apprentice at any of our fine restaurants to learn the tourism/chef trade. Our many industrial and retail opportunities provide doors for them to stay close, learn about a particular trade and secure a strong spot or use it as a springboard to the next opportunity.
This high school cap and gown is a serious one. One way or another, your progeny is launching into their future. After the celebrations, prepare for the big move to the college dorm – moving day is so exciting and so stressful, all at once. You try to prepare them for their first night away at college – but you might want to prepare yourself as well. It took a village to get them this far. Now they are fending for themselves. Here’s the test. Did you prepare them well? Kahlil Gibran: “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth…” Did you teach them to fly?
College: Your child made it. The dreams, the hopes, the promise, the worry, the anxiety, the stress … the Yin and the Yang. And then, in another inconceivably short, inexplicable blink of the eye, it’s time for another cap and gown. You sit in a crowded arena with thousands of proud parents and grandparents, you hear Pomp and Circumstance as you laser-focus on your child a baseball field away (as I just did in Boston’s Fenway Park for my eldest granddaughter, Delaney), you hear the university president give his charge to the students and, just like that, another chapter closes. The rest of the book, yet unwritten, is large and filled with promise and mystery. Who will this accomplished beloved child become next? More school? More caps and gowns, more ceremonies? More emotional roller coaster rides? Of course. As my daughter wisely said to me, “this is all part of the process. It truly is exciting, but it isn’t my journey – it’s hers to take in whatever direction she is motivated to go.” Gibran: “You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls’ dwell in the house of tomorrow which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”